I'm hungry Eating is a phenomenon. Once pure necesity, now social. Once a means of survival, now a means of communication. Its been emphasized, downsized, capsulized, synchranized, capsized...it seems just to eat is not good enough. Now so much thought goes into what, when, where, why, how. You can eat now, later, tomarrow, or never. You can eat chinese, japanes, americanese, mexican, guatamalan, anythingan. You can go on a picnic, out to a restraunt, eat in your bathroom, in your bed, on a balcony, on a floaty in a pool. You can eat because you are bored, sad, tired, frustrated, underweight, overweight, hungry, depressed. And you can eat it fried, cooked, baked, boiled, canned, creamed, pilled, mushed, smooshed, or chewed. Basically there are too many options.
I have to think. Like everything in life, stuff evolves. Where is food going next? Let's look at it logically. Once upon a time food was scarce. We hunted, we found, we ate our brains out and shared nothing. Then we farmed, cropped, and traded. Food was more bountiful and became some what social, but still a means for survival. Introduction of the meal. Famine. Touch my food and you'll die. Introduction of currency. Introduction of mass production. Food is everywhere. You want it, we'll make it. Food is social because it's available. Therfore 50% of time is thought eating food or thinking about eating food. So what comes next? It seems we have reached the max. From little to too much. Possibly, the elimination of food is on the horizon. We have already developed diet pills that give all the nutrition for a healthy and balanced life style. Heck, life isn't getting any slower so why not save some time. Take a pill, pop a shot and get on with your day.
Can you just imagine the super markets? Shopping carts the size of purses and only one isle, long and tall with huge dispensories of IV-like liquid bags and pills. The restaurants. "Yes I'll have a hit of calcium inhanced B12 with a side of hydroginated greens, vegan please" Everyone walking around with little IV's stuck to there arms. Heck, there'd be human gas stations. Just hook up, pay the toll, fill up and your on your way. Then we will be running with maximum efficiency right?

All I have to say is if that day ever comes, I pray that by then I am up in Heaven with the dear Lord because I am not giving up my pecan pie.
  ¶ 11:53 PM 4 Comments

  Jesus didn't wish to rise to the top.. By pure survaillance of other successful blogs out there in cyber space, I have noticed that only the controversial statements get any kind of a response, especailly if you can offend someone while being controversial. I was going to attempt this to see if my ratings boosted but everyone took the good ideas. So I am sorry, below you will find nothing that will affend you and only mediocer writting that might stir nothing in you. My apologies....

On that same note, I read an article in the Oregonian last night thats pleas were cries that will only be heard by a small number of people who they probably don't pertain to. Sad, becuase even as a published writting, literature can only reach so far as to affect the people who need to hear it most.....
The commentary was on Christian politics. It rose interesting points that I will not summarize because you yourself have the ability to read the document but I gathered much from it that I cannot let stand alone.
An excerp reads "the church has been hijacked by the issues of gay marriage and abortion.....this is what the people e,bedded int hte church don't understand. When you go out and ask someone what Christianity is about, they'll say it's about gay marriage and abortion. The dont know anything else." and more "There's increasingly this feeling that if we are right spiritually and right morally, we can be mean to people....Whatever happened to turn the other cheek? Love your enemies? Season your speech with grace? There's only war rhetoric. It's Gettysburg. 'Your children are going to trun gay unless you get your fists up'...."

Although very critical, I find this article sad but true. When walking around the own campus of my school, I find a bitter atmosphere surrounding the religious right, and there is no question why. So often the speech that flows out of the mouths of those who preach love is filled with anger and force. Why is it so important that we take our spiritual beliefs and make them moral tactics for the entire US to feel? I suggest rather actions above words. Who was that famous dude that said "I'd hear your words better if you actions weren't so loud"? He had a point. It has come down to pure hypocracy and corruption onthe name of Christianity. "Christianity as a religion is about political power, morality and us vs. them. Christianity as a spirituality is about acceptance, love and grace". This is when I would have to agree that sometimes the world would be better without religion....
  ¶ 8:16 AM 3 Comments

  Stupid mind, go away I do believe I am my own devils advocate. At times I think that if a camera could capture thought, my brain could cast and carry out a full-blown CNN debate. It is as if no matter what the topic, two views live in my head. The process is actually quiet complex. I try to be firm with any idea that I conclude but so often half was through my explanation of the idea, the opposing rebutle stirs in my brain and poors out of my mouth, contradicting any valid point i just had. Then I am left stupified. I am left dumb founded, trying to figure out which side to take. It is horrible to have a debate partner that knows the counter argument before it is spoken.
So often I am left like a blubbering idiot. I make a point, then says something that counteracts it, then agree with both, and finally end with an "so right, i'm not sure...huh?"
I have conlcuded this is due to my lack of judgement in what areas are appropriate to study and the kind of information I let enter my brain. I want to be rounded, so often I purposely subject myself to an idea I know I disagree with. I listen to music with morals I dont support, read books against what I believe, and try to justify a religion I don't follow. But just the same I believe what I believe, read about it, learn abouit it, listen to it, and most importantly live it. So I am left with a brain believing one thing and justifying the other. Wow, this sounds a bit too muich like TOK. SO today I decdied to limit my input on class discussions mearly because there was enough discussion occuring in my brain to keep me occupied. And besides, I think I came off as smarter that way.



On a seperate note, I watched one of the most touching things today. I am not the sentimental type, at all. Very few things carry emotion for me. But today, upon picking up my brother at the airport, I realized the magic that occurs at that very spot. People are reunited. Everything either disappears or appears in that one second two peoples eyes meet for the first time in hours, days, months, maybe even years. I think at that moment is when one can truely feel unconditional love. No matter what has occured, how long they have been gone, each person had a genuine smile on their face and gave the best hug they could muster up. One couple inparticular I watched long and hard because they were stunning. Not in looks, but in emotion. She ran to him, jumped into his arms and they held eachother. I could see only his face and it was lit up so soft and happy. They walked toward baggage claim slowly in each others arms, treasuring every second they were together. They would look at eachother shyly, meet eyes, and kiss softly. Now even if they werent in love, even if they had once been enemies, even if they had shared hardships together for the past 5 years and haven't settled them, I would never know. Because all I saw was something beautiful and true. I wish those kind of things could be bottled and used in times of rain.

  ¶ 9:06 PM 2 Comments

  Don't be ridiculous A brief comment was made on the car-ride home from a visit to a coffee shop. I said "I wish I wasn't such a realist"

Obviously not the first time i have had this thought, many a times I have pondered the ways people react to the decision making process, or maybe even the thinking process in general. Case and point:
Something depressing has just occured in your life and part of the responsibility is in your hands. Depending on what you want to hear you either come to person a, b, or c. To make this a little less hypothetical I will give these letters names that actually fit the given situation.
A. Neil Wong- he will give you the sweet version. One that points out the ups of the situation and speaks optimistically about the positive outcomes of the event and then shows the necesity of your actions. Needed at times, this is what I call the "sugar coated" view
B. Andrea Parson- with a smile on her face and a reassuring hug, Andrea will agree with your shortcomings but only to a point of satisfaction and acceptance. The ups are weighed, the downs and valued but not emphasized. You are neither the victim nor the instigator and the subject is thus quickly changed and ended with a friendly laugh. This is the "move on and laugh" view.
C. Kara Girod- the logistics of the entire situation are veiwed. Each wrong turn is renavigated to discover what could have occured for a better outcome, and then the things you did right are discussed. The reality of the situation is put on the table, sugar and salt all in one. This is the "straight-forward like it or not" view.

Obviously, my view seems to be the most depressing. Leaning more towards pesimism than anything, I can't think any other way than logically. Let's face it, life is rough. Now this veiw does have it's advantages. I am always prepared for the worse and thus often am pleasantly suprised by the ups in life. I can weigh things out logically and don't have to depend on what-if's and I find my "view" to be most accurate.

But aside from decision making, sometimes i wish I could just let go of reality. I'd like to think and say sometime "maybe I will wake up tomarrow, snow will be on the ground, and I will get a call from my dream school asking me to attend". But that's not likely to happen now is it...
  ¶ 10:33 PM 2 Comments

  Randomness in the land of Oz This is what I call blog because i can post.


How is it with everyone?


I feel the overwhleming fogg that some of you may call "the stress of senior year" momentarially clearing. Hopefully, the forecast preaches clear skies.


I have a new found appreciation for piano music. This is me, kara, promising to you, ______, that I will practice everyday as to better enjoy my love of music.

Have a wonderful evening
  ¶ 6:59 PM 1 Comments

  Give it to me There is such a thing as burnout.

Gratfully, i have never fully experienced this stage in any area of my life. But like a distant fire, I can smell the smoke of my frying brain but can't completely feel the heat. Years of trying, pressing, learning. Everyday packed to the max, non-stop. Doing everything I can, whenever I can, where ever I can. Be it sholarly, I'll do it 150%. I'll strive for any award just for a challenge. I want every corner of life.

Then you are just plain done with that.

Sort of been there, done that.

Don't mind me wrong here. I loved it while it was there, and still am enjoying it. I have a passion for knowledge and activity and being a part of everything. Becuase now, I've work. I have accomplished. I can say I am book smart to a degree. I've read all the higher level things. I can say I like math because it makes sense and I do it in my spare time. I can say I tried to learn anything within my reach.

But I am ready to put down that book. Not forever, gosh no, but surely for a bit. I need to put down my left side of the brain for a while, give it a rest. I have come to the point where it has been almost abusive to my naturally stronger right side. I pumped the left with good tasting stereoroids of knowledge, giving it more and more and pushing it even when it wanted to stop. Maybe because I never want to be dumb, or the starving artist.

Now, I want to compose. I want to dance and not have an essay outline floating behind my eyes. I want to paint about something that matters to me, not to my teacher. I want to create, move, make, cut, build, critique, design. Anything. Some would suggest a balance, but I dont want it. I am ready for a recall on the one thing I wake up each day ready to do...make stuff.
  ¶ 4:16 PM 1 Comments

  civil lesion from the lit For the most part, I think Thorueau's Walden had little to no significance to me, but the writting Civil Disobedience is absolutely brilliant.


Away from my nerdyness, today I am sick. As customary, usually following or preceeding my illness is that of my fathers. So, today we both sat home from church. After my two hour nap on the hard floor in front of my warm fire place while my dad read one of his many religion books, we both sat silently for a good 45 minutes just pondering life. Silence gave wave to grunts which gave way to short sentances. Before i knew it, we were talking about the meaning of life. Alas, I am not speaking of the broad meaning but rather a slice of the pie. This slice I would like to lable rubharb; bitter but still worth digesting.
Try this on for size: every person has had a significant wound from their youth. According to my father's book the most common offender is the father, but regaurdless, a wound. The result is a grown person who is still trying to heal. It changes them for the better, for the worse. They spend their time either denying it, trying to prove it wrong, over-compensating it, protecting it, or ignoring it. Few can simply heal it and move on because the other part of the equation (the offender) is unapproachable, in reachable. My father's wound is a hard sense of criticism put on him by his parents. To this day, he is not good enough. That is his wound. So what does he do? He does everything 100% + and then publishes it for assurance that, "yes, I am good". But still when it comes down to calling his dad up and telling him all the things he has been succeeding at, the phone line is filled with criticism. Why? Because the wound is so permanent.

So then my father asked me "are you wounded?" He looked hollow and scared for me to reply with something like "well, remember when you.....". but I didn't. I am fortunate to have grown up in a house where accusations are little and love is abundant. There are no requirements, laws, punishments, governments, mandates, rules...except for to respect and have true love for any and all people. So my new goal: identify the wound as it occurs, when it occurs, where it occurs. Not to say i havent been hurt, on the contrary. I have multiple little hurts that have changed and altered me as a person and how i act but no one wound that defines me everyday above the rest. I hope all of you who battle with that wound choose the high road and come out on top. YOu can try right?


I might be a slight bit drunk right now. I have now taken over12 herbal supplements, one of which I know for a fact to have 13% alcohol concentration and that i have taken at least 5 times today. Another homeopathic supplement (one that i find particularly fun because it is a tube full of little beads that dissolve beneath your tongue and taste like sugar) makes me very sleepy, while the ginger chews I am taking for my stomach get stuck in my teeth and cause everything I eat/drink to taste like ginger. The tea that is aparently stress releaving is called Kava tea, which I quiet enjoy becuase i have identified from a young start that if any day I become the slightest bit famous I will go by the name Kava Girod(French pronounciation on the last name please). Currently I am sucking on some Zinc tablets which are my worst enemy because they give me cotton mouth and create a film that does not dissolve without the aid of my 13%alcohol concentration (which I do think I am becoming dependent on).

Well, the day moves on so so must I. My bed is calling me...

  ¶ 2:38 PM 2 Comments