Give it to me There is such a thing as burnout.

Gratfully, i have never fully experienced this stage in any area of my life. But like a distant fire, I can smell the smoke of my frying brain but can't completely feel the heat. Years of trying, pressing, learning. Everyday packed to the max, non-stop. Doing everything I can, whenever I can, where ever I can. Be it sholarly, I'll do it 150%. I'll strive for any award just for a challenge. I want every corner of life.

Then you are just plain done with that.

Sort of been there, done that.

Don't mind me wrong here. I loved it while it was there, and still am enjoying it. I have a passion for knowledge and activity and being a part of everything. Becuase now, I've work. I have accomplished. I can say I am book smart to a degree. I've read all the higher level things. I can say I like math because it makes sense and I do it in my spare time. I can say I tried to learn anything within my reach.

But I am ready to put down that book. Not forever, gosh no, but surely for a bit. I need to put down my left side of the brain for a while, give it a rest. I have come to the point where it has been almost abusive to my naturally stronger right side. I pumped the left with good tasting stereoroids of knowledge, giving it more and more and pushing it even when it wanted to stop. Maybe because I never want to be dumb, or the starving artist.

Now, I want to compose. I want to dance and not have an essay outline floating behind my eyes. I want to paint about something that matters to me, not to my teacher. I want to create, move, make, cut, build, critique, design. Anything. Some would suggest a balance, but I dont want it. I am ready for a recall on the one thing I wake up each day ready to do...make stuff.
  ¶ 4:16 PM