Allow to speak New bed, new walls, same friends, same falls. Compared to the unbound territory of Oregon I had to explore complete with vehicle and gas money, this 10 by 10 room seems like solitary confinement. But I don't mind. I will find my nitch, dance my days, search my mind, and create myself into what all those who love me see me as. Like the bumper sticker says, God help me to become the person my dog thinks I am.

Tangy rich is what I would call this transition. While I am fully happy every time I embrace a missed one, I feel a bitter pinch of rememberance for a different touch that I can't reach across the 2,000 mile expanse. When I walk the halls, I feel as if summer never occured: date? May 4 2006 and out of some meer opportunity to change, all my possesions have moved onto the other side of campus. But summer did occur. Those memory entangled moments that stick around like condensing smoke prove that although today is where I am, yesterday and the day before and the day before were made of sweet, sweet summer mornings, days of adventure and nights of love. I lean into the wind and take on new courses, new teachings, new opportunities with egareness. My mind grows stale under the lack of stimulation the past 4 months caused me. But am i ready to give up the ability to leisure 6 hours at a time, eat uncontrolled, and think not a moment past now? Maybe I am...maybe it doesn't matter because there is no choice here. Ryan told me choice is an illusion, and this illusion let me move my life between two homes in order to reach complete balance.

New sunrise, new trends. Same desk, same bends in the computer i unpacked, cell phone I speak to, and the heart I challenge. I read an interesting article on the plane ride here discussing the origins of a concious, benevolent God present in most modern religions. It suggested that humans act better when watched, and so in order to help a community function beneficially, and due to the naturally quick-to-conclude imagination of humans that leads to religious truths, we created a God that judges and watches and cares. He keeps us safe from ourselves to speak. Such writtings strip me loose, allowing my mind to dangle like a swinging pendulum between science and religion yet never settling the questions that really matter to me, like how I should take care of my heart, or what makes each person thinks he is the only person in his position? Hum

Special notes to:

Mom: I know you care, and I love that you care. Thank you

Dad: Be slow, tread lightly, and love wholey. Remember who you raised me to be and allow me to be that. I will struggle, and that struggle will me mine. But I will also love, and that love will make me better, and us stronger. I trust you.

Ryan: Let the beach embrace you, because my thoughts and love are being fought by strong winds here in LA and I can only hope they reach you. Send me pictures, mail, calls, anything is a joy to recieve. Many ask about you and wish you well, and tell my family hello for me. When your teeth hurt, pretend I am hugging you and lightly kissing your cheek. I love you

Friends from Oregon: May your first week of classes go well. Call me after 9 because i am cheap, and even if we never talk until May, I still love you. Conversation is just saving time that is already lost (although it can be sweet like desert.)

to everyone: my roommate, who missed my incesant typing, loud music, and speratic stretching says "hello to all your [my] blog readers". I told her there were none but she was not satisfied.

May peace be with you, knowledge be beside you to consult, and wisdom be within your grasps. All my love  ¶ 10:15 PM