Cereal Bars and Cars And yes ladies and gentlemen we've hit a moment in time where KAra's brain is about to once again explode from the impending doom of THINKING TOO MUCH....Thats right, she's done it again; temporarily lost sight of the world in order to ponder philosophical thoughts and brought herself into downright confusion and depression only to fall asleep disturbed and wake up realizing nothing has changed in life. What an odd specimen we have here ...

The only link back to reality for me is walking. I walk and I think because then everything that is so evident in the world that i apparently miss when I get into my think-train passes befor all of my complex sensory organs and slaps into my brain. I can't wonder as much and i focus much better. So after nearly an hour of tracing a mind-web that reached all the way from "im bored" to "the world is useless", I found my fatal flaw: I don't know what I think a human is.

The ramification of a human being 100% mammilian, 0% divine, wholy particle and anti-spiritual leaves me thinking that nothing in this world is wrong and that society has made up a whole intricate code of laws and outlines for being civilized and figured out a way to call the right emotional response from us if they are violated. I could kill, poop in public, have sex with hundreds of people, shout slanderous claims, and carry a rifle with me to the marketplace and feel absolutely fine if society wasn't in place. However, I have a hard time fathoming that everything I feel is a construct. I like to take some ownership and pride in my convictions of beneficial and harmful behavior.

I know I am not 100% divine, therefore I can't even begin that thought.

SO I am somewhere in between like the rest of the human race yet I struggle with the ratio. Why is that important? Isn't this just more of that thinking that puts me into the freak-show classification in the first place? No. It is not. How guided and by whom my principles are guided by makes the difference between how I feel right an wrong, how i live through a day, how i love those things or people i encounter and what value I can give myself. Guilt-one emotion that makes me classify myself part divine. Most other feelings I can abstractly trace back to an instinct to survive (which ryan has proved can also be put into question) how ever guilt provides a complication. To feel guilty about an act, one must consider the other party involved, and the consequence of the action. Do animals calculate such things? Do they cower after they poop on the carpet out of guilt or because they have learned that behavior warrants punishment and any such a thing is closer to death than life? If that be the case, than are we just evaiding punishment? is religion and faith our own way of encompassing punishment upon ourselves so that guilt may be felt after certain actions?

What species would ever knowingly entrap themselves in such a way?

As you can see, this is quiet a mess and I will continue to boggle my mind and walk through campus until something is reached; hopefully not a conclusion, but at least a temporary resolution of thought.  ¶ 4:54 PM