Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Endoplasmic reticulum
I think I start multiple posts with the usual "I am just trying to figure out" and I am going to do it again.
What is actually important, what is kinda important, what is really important, and what is just fake and gets in the way. Life, love, death, and money are like mile posts along the road. No matter which one you see or pass they all look just as big, just as tall, and just as impressive, but you know some mileposts mean things. One will mark the place where you got married, one will mark the exit you have to take to make it to your grandpa's funeral, and another is just a dead stick in the road.
The thing is I can't tell what is what.
I want clarity and I want peace. I want resolution and I want it now.
I want an escape from greed, ha.
I also want all sectors of my life to collide again but this time, i want them to like it. I want all my loves to love, and all my joys to be joyful, and all my interests to be interested in eachother. Harmony I suppose is the request.
Im not angry, nor sad, just puzzled on the complexity of things. I was studying chains of elements which make up chains of animo acids which make up chains of proteins which then line up and coil and cross and helix and overlap until a mass is created. the amazing thing is, 94% of that mass is still just space, unoccupied by matter. Thats like reality: very complex ,but made up of very small, relatively insignificant things that give the illusion of matter. Only in my life, everything is significant because it effects me, and everything is complicated because there is so much, and life is truely complex because i will never be able to completely unwind the helix. Maybe I should just start focusing on the empty space instead of the occupied minority
I am beginning to love LMU more everyday while simultaneously missing people I can not be with more and more. What a paradox ¶ 9:55 PM
What is actually important, what is kinda important, what is really important, and what is just fake and gets in the way. Life, love, death, and money are like mile posts along the road. No matter which one you see or pass they all look just as big, just as tall, and just as impressive, but you know some mileposts mean things. One will mark the place where you got married, one will mark the exit you have to take to make it to your grandpa's funeral, and another is just a dead stick in the road.
The thing is I can't tell what is what.
I want clarity and I want peace. I want resolution and I want it now.
I want an escape from greed, ha.
I also want all sectors of my life to collide again but this time, i want them to like it. I want all my loves to love, and all my joys to be joyful, and all my interests to be interested in eachother. Harmony I suppose is the request.
Im not angry, nor sad, just puzzled on the complexity of things. I was studying chains of elements which make up chains of animo acids which make up chains of proteins which then line up and coil and cross and helix and overlap until a mass is created. the amazing thing is, 94% of that mass is still just space, unoccupied by matter. Thats like reality: very complex ,but made up of very small, relatively insignificant things that give the illusion of matter. Only in my life, everything is significant because it effects me, and everything is complicated because there is so much, and life is truely complex because i will never be able to completely unwind the helix. Maybe I should just start focusing on the empty space instead of the occupied minority
I am beginning to love LMU more everyday while simultaneously missing people I can not be with more and more. What a paradox ¶ 9:55 PM
