Baby Ain't No Deal I think life is smacking me on the face right now, letting me know that it is still here and I am still needing to live it. I dont really understand how it works but I am happier than I have ever been while still managing to hit all-time lows. Does this make me manic-depressive? I think not since what my college education has taught me proves that psychological abnormalities are functions of society. Instead, I simple think that each day....no...each second...is all important while completely void and to find how those interact is my challenge.

I don't really get how to do good. I mean, I'd like to suggest ending poverty, stopping the war, killing less animals, curing AIDS, sending peace worldwide and all that other hobo-jobo bull. But each of those only touches a certain sector or people in a certain section of life. They are also almost completely unattainable and require a lifetime of commitment, something very few will do. Never the less, they will be good things if they occur, but won't something else just as terrifying take their place? Cure AIDS while spreading poverty. Educate all while increasing taxes on the suffering. I sound very pessimistic I know, but I am trying to decide if I have spent my whole life idealizing concepts that shouldn't be focused on. Just the same, I wonder if doing good should actually encompass other things. Let's say you share your food with a friend, discover a lost dollar bill, and have an amazing conversation with you mother. You have helped out one person by fulfilling their needs, bettered your financial stability, and spread love and peace through great connections. Aren't those just as worthy if not more than world peace? Maybe they seem so because they take a fraction of the time and effort and they personal benefits are far more evident. This is turning selfish..

Speaking of which, I think love is so infatuation because it is self-indulgent. Selfish and selfless, love never feels bad. Sometimes people make choices out of love that end up being very painful because they feel the need to sacrafice, but never is actual love damaging to the owner. Not the things that follow, but the strict emotion, the internal surge of heat and flutter, the loss of consiousness and presence of divinity, is wholy good and well...holy. And that explains why people will die for love, kill for love, do anything for love. Because love is good and love is complete and love is only the one side of equality that we want to exist in.

I get it now. I get that to do good, is to do love, and love, an emotion held within, can be projected anywhere I put it. Like hate, like anger, like shyness, like poise, I can throw my love into any task and that will be doing good.

Whenever I turn on my cell phone it reads the welcome message that I wrote 4 months ago: "Spread some love today"  ¶ 1:22 AM