Life is a Fabulous Blend...
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Gold To Me
Gray hazy smoke covers the lenses of blue light that streams onto the crowd below which stays roudy and loud even while the man onstage pours out his heart into his art which although may not be my taste ought to be appreciated as expression and therefore i find myself antagonized and wondering so much what the chatter around me could be about that I direct my ears onto the words which sound "the OC is SO last year" and i remember that i am no longer on planet earth for i am in another world where vanity is fair and love is lost like the drink that is game for all who seek to expire something other than their intellect.
Still I able to loose myself in the deep bass guitar so that my body sways with the music and i catch a glimpse of dreadlocks ahead of me peaking out underneath a brown loose cap atop of a tall man and it makes me think why such attention was placed onto deliberate dilegent neglect so that each individual thread of hair might become a part of some collaborative nest which can never be untangeled and thus i see a distinct symbolism of unity in which all individuality is eternally lost however at the same time making this one individual stand out all the more because no one in southern california really has dreadlocks that mean something....
So i come home and sit on my computer and type in whatever terms i did not understand that the day threw at me in hopes of deleting one more possible future moment in which ignorance frames my face and embarrassment marks my words and what I find is riots in the streets of LA and on the porch of Kent State and pilgrimages through Poland that join hippies and catholics hand in hand with ceremonial flower picking and hymn singing all while stopping for inspiration masses and informal marijuana circles and I stumble upon the word for the mecca leader whom they call "Desiderata" and i fall in love with it all together and completely....
DESIDERATA
"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.Speak your truth quietly and clearly : and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.Avoid loud and agressive persons, their are vexations to the spirit.If you compare yourself with others , you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans .Keep interested in your own career , however humble ; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.But let this not blind you to what virtue there is ; many persons strive for high ideas; and everywhere life is full of heroism .Be yourself.Especially do not feign affection, neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all the aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.Take kindly the counsel of the years , gracefully surrendering the things of youth.Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.But do not distress yourself with imaginings.Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations , in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams , it is still a beautiful world.Be careful.Strive to be happy."
(Anonymous text from 1692 found in old St Paul's Church in Baltimore)
¶ 12:01 AM 1 Comments
"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.Speak your truth quietly and clearly : and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.Avoid loud and agressive persons, their are vexations to the spirit.If you compare yourself with others , you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans .Keep interested in your own career , however humble ; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.But let this not blind you to what virtue there is ; many persons strive for high ideas; and everywhere life is full of heroism .Be yourself.Especially do not feign affection, neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all the aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.Take kindly the counsel of the years , gracefully surrendering the things of youth.Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.But do not distress yourself with imaginings.Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations , in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams , it is still a beautiful world.Be careful.Strive to be happy."
(Anonymous text from 1692 found in old St Paul's Church in Baltimore)
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Hello Oasis of Palms
To be thankful....
Everytime I walk through my day wondering what I will come upon enough to feel inspired to write, I think of little subplots, keywords and sentances that get scribbled onto my academic journal. There is no one place for these blotted ideas so they blend into my work. The only way there would be hope that I could find them is that I tend to write the words that hold great ideas (oor seemingly so) in finer, more pronounced penmanship. So this morning, while flipping through the Philosophy section of my notes, inscribed next to Descartes ideas on God and the Meno's understanding of self, I found a handful of blogger words. The list goes as follows:
greed
self-oriented style
deforestation occupation
infinity
living under but attempting over
frustration with imposed morality
moralities frustration with me
incompitance of people
dogs
fog this morning
epiphany of center
And although each word jogs a train of thought long and heavy enough to kill a pack of elephants, I for once, am deciding not to. And do you know why? Because writting more about the yang to the yin of life is only helpful on rare occasions. How often do we need more negative analysis? Do I really want to focus my energy and then read ideas regaurding the demise of my daily interactions? No. There is way too much to be thankful for that I pass over with a critical eye, never embracing. Above all, I need to be more gracious and thankful for everything. The bad, the good, the world, the hate, the greed, even the pure evil because out of it will come something that helps me develope and grow. So why not focus on the brilliant, the beautiful, look for the lovely so that they influence me, I will see it and be grateful. Harder to do than it looks. Off i go!! ¶ 9:01 AM 1 Comments
Everytime I walk through my day wondering what I will come upon enough to feel inspired to write, I think of little subplots, keywords and sentances that get scribbled onto my academic journal. There is no one place for these blotted ideas so they blend into my work. The only way there would be hope that I could find them is that I tend to write the words that hold great ideas (oor seemingly so) in finer, more pronounced penmanship. So this morning, while flipping through the Philosophy section of my notes, inscribed next to Descartes ideas on God and the Meno's understanding of self, I found a handful of blogger words. The list goes as follows:
greed
self-oriented style
deforestation occupation
infinity
living under but attempting over
frustration with imposed morality
moralities frustration with me
incompitance of people
dogs
fog this morning
epiphany of center
And although each word jogs a train of thought long and heavy enough to kill a pack of elephants, I for once, am deciding not to. And do you know why? Because writting more about the yang to the yin of life is only helpful on rare occasions. How often do we need more negative analysis? Do I really want to focus my energy and then read ideas regaurding the demise of my daily interactions? No. There is way too much to be thankful for that I pass over with a critical eye, never embracing. Above all, I need to be more gracious and thankful for everything. The bad, the good, the world, the hate, the greed, even the pure evil because out of it will come something that helps me develope and grow. So why not focus on the brilliant, the beautiful, look for the lovely so that they influence me, I will see it and be grateful. Harder to do than it looks. Off i go!! ¶ 9:01 AM 1 Comments
Friday, October 21, 2005
Run it into the Ground
Life is an Adventure and i hope it never stops.
This weekends challenge : spend less than $10
This weeks accomplishment: remembering to turn off the lights everytime i leave the room
Next weeks goal: To take nothing for granted
I hope you all have a great day, and for those of you who go to my school, rock on mid-semester break. ¶ 12:40 PM 0 Comments
This weekends challenge : spend less than $10
This weeks accomplishment: remembering to turn off the lights everytime i leave the room
Next weeks goal: To take nothing for granted
I hope you all have a great day, and for those of you who go to my school, rock on mid-semester break. ¶ 12:40 PM 0 Comments
Friday, October 14, 2005
The COnnection is Bad but my Words Kiss your Ears
Just a quick little note from here to there:
I am officially beginning to take count of how many comments are made on this blog by someone just attempting to further their business. Each always begins with how incredibly wonderful my last post was, and what joy it brought to their lives. Then they so graciously return the favor by offering mye some wonderful, life-saving, link on how to enlarge my penis. However, I have lost any faith that these messages are sincere, or even somewhat un-generic, so after 5 more of them, I will cease to write. Yes that it right, this will be the demise of my blog.
All this becuase I honestly feel cheated out of my space that has become a haven of commmunity unity, free from bombarding, unthought-out messages propelled by self success. And I am sick of the disrespect. COME ON!
I am laughing right now because I am so serious about a little piece of cyber space that apparently means alot to me. How weird... ¶ 12:35 PM 1 Comments
I am officially beginning to take count of how many comments are made on this blog by someone just attempting to further their business. Each always begins with how incredibly wonderful my last post was, and what joy it brought to their lives. Then they so graciously return the favor by offering mye some wonderful, life-saving, link on how to enlarge my penis. However, I have lost any faith that these messages are sincere, or even somewhat un-generic, so after 5 more of them, I will cease to write. Yes that it right, this will be the demise of my blog.
All this becuase I honestly feel cheated out of my space that has become a haven of commmunity unity, free from bombarding, unthought-out messages propelled by self success. And I am sick of the disrespect. COME ON!
I am laughing right now because I am so serious about a little piece of cyber space that apparently means alot to me. How weird... ¶ 12:35 PM 1 Comments
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Extensions From That Cord
Don't get me wrong, I love reading and knowledge and the like, but for some reason, 400 plus pages of works dedicated to swearing off the wrongs of white men who colonized and brutaly betrayed Africa gets a bit depressing.
However, that exact same professor (the Denny act-alike) has also led me to some very important and unique thoughts this last week. The conclusion of these? I want to go to Africa.
I guess having all these moments and instances pace through my mind just remind me that college is not what I thought it was going to be. For some reason, I had this expectation that college would be when I flourished, saw the world, and became who I would be for the rest of my life. However, I see it's a little different now. Time here is like an incubation period. I am being set physically stagnant so that my mind might grow. I am itching to be let free, but I think God knows its best that I stay, mature, and grow before I can take on the world.
Back to homework, I think that you should really read the Meno by Plato about Socrates. I just finished the Phaedo and am starting on, who would have thought, Descartes Mediations. I really think that the Meno has a lot that would really benefit and intrigue. For instance, I think the whole talk on whether or not virtue can be talk is total space filler material, but the dialogue about how we know what is good, and whether people can purposely do harm to themselves is mindboggling. For personal pleasure, I much more enjoyed the Phaedo, just because I've never even considered second guessing the nature of believing in and afterlife. You just do or dont right? But how absurd is the belief that we die, but aren't dead, and if it is so weird, why do we hold it? I also was able to make really wild connections about the implications on a belief in the afterlife to how one lives while alive. All that talk made me so much more assured that people really must know what they believe before they can live to their purpose.
And that's why college frustrates me as well. So many people jsut believing nothing saying "I'll find it sometime". In their right they can take their sweet time to search, but for some reason I feel like a majority of them arent even searching. Wait, this is me being over critical (and long winded)
Rock on, my dear friends. The leaves are turning brown upon their tall stalks of palm trees, and the wind has a chill to it that almost reminds me of home.
I'm out of writting. This sucks. Life kicks butt. ¶ 10:04 PM 1 Comments
However, that exact same professor (the Denny act-alike) has also led me to some very important and unique thoughts this last week. The conclusion of these? I want to go to Africa.
I guess having all these moments and instances pace through my mind just remind me that college is not what I thought it was going to be. For some reason, I had this expectation that college would be when I flourished, saw the world, and became who I would be for the rest of my life. However, I see it's a little different now. Time here is like an incubation period. I am being set physically stagnant so that my mind might grow. I am itching to be let free, but I think God knows its best that I stay, mature, and grow before I can take on the world.
Back to homework, I think that you should really read the Meno by Plato about Socrates. I just finished the Phaedo and am starting on, who would have thought, Descartes Mediations. I really think that the Meno has a lot that would really benefit and intrigue. For instance, I think the whole talk on whether or not virtue can be talk is total space filler material, but the dialogue about how we know what is good, and whether people can purposely do harm to themselves is mindboggling. For personal pleasure, I much more enjoyed the Phaedo, just because I've never even considered second guessing the nature of believing in and afterlife. You just do or dont right? But how absurd is the belief that we die, but aren't dead, and if it is so weird, why do we hold it? I also was able to make really wild connections about the implications on a belief in the afterlife to how one lives while alive. All that talk made me so much more assured that people really must know what they believe before they can live to their purpose.
And that's why college frustrates me as well. So many people jsut believing nothing saying "I'll find it sometime". In their right they can take their sweet time to search, but for some reason I feel like a majority of them arent even searching. Wait, this is me being over critical (and long winded)
Rock on, my dear friends. The leaves are turning brown upon their tall stalks of palm trees, and the wind has a chill to it that almost reminds me of home.
I'm out of writting. This sucks. Life kicks butt. ¶ 10:04 PM 1 Comments
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Watching them watch me right now
So much flies through my head today. It seems as if today was the day that it all comes together. I've spent my life forming hypotheses on people and actions, on the world as it turns, and people while they hate. Then today, I open up a book, read the known, researched, and proved versions of my ideas, and then put my head down to rest. The world does work like I thought it did. I see a ballet of naked people, and I am confirmed in my belief that the body is beautiful, awkward, and all at the same time just another thing. I see an art exhibit and although half of me says "childish sketches on paper" my other congitive side sees the hate, disrimination, forces of good and evil, and irony that the museum explains in little side captions. And while I have always said that we all see the world so tainted and individually, some things are just, real.
Example of real: Schemas. Ideas that all people fall into organized groups that we force them into. According to my psych book "they help us predict what others are like on the basis of relatively little information, because we tend to fit people into schemas even when we do not have much concrete evidence". This is why I want that boy in my English class to come out as gay, or why I don't get the girl who where's Abercrombie with a peace necklace. Everyone in my world get's put into catagories even when I tell them to their faces that they are people, just like everyone else. These schemas also account for the uncomfort I feel as I purchase a nice pair of shoes that I saw in a magazine. That's not something Kara would do, that doesn't fit her type. The worst part is, they cause so much discourse. What if someone doesn't belong in a group, how will they be treated? What if I don't fit into a group? Is that when people go "looking for themselves" or are they actually just morphing into a shape that fits the hole they want to be put into?
Real:conformity. Although it seems relatively straightforward whether a person opposes conformity or ignores it, I have decided it is ridiculous to do either. "Dont conform" we scream from the heights of our individuality, but don't we realise how incredibly imposible that is? To oppose conformity is to join another type of group, one that rages against the ways of the popular. Another type of conformity also runs parallel, that that occurs in groupthinks. This is when all come to one conclusion so quickly that the other side is never seen. Harsh judgements and immoral goals are often set because everyone caves in. This is America. Groupthink is known to "most likely occur when a popular of powerful leader is surrounded by people of lower status". Welcome to presidency George W., would you like to make a hasty proposal into war? Don't cave in country.
Also real: discrimination. This is the one I have the hardest time with, and today, it makes the least amount of sense. There is a mass movement of people who chant "peace, love and unity" around the world, yet they constantly discriminate against anyone who refuses to join in. They are anti-love to the world or republicans, discriminant against the religious, but continously condone any and all discrimination of personal choice. It seems imposible to love all, respect all, and project a theory that you want furthered at the same time. DO you have to squash others to promote your idea of world peace? Or will they change with equal respect and come to ultimate "enlightenment on their own"? Reading suggests that one way to reduce prejudice or discrimination is by "increasing contact between the target of stereotyping and the holder of the stereotype". If that's the case, i am definately in the right part of town.
This was basically just a rant that had to come out in the middle of my study time.To quote a friend "Back to my four wall existence". I love and miss you all. Have a thought-provoking day! ¶ 5:32 PM 2 Comments
Example of real: Schemas. Ideas that all people fall into organized groups that we force them into. According to my psych book "they help us predict what others are like on the basis of relatively little information, because we tend to fit people into schemas even when we do not have much concrete evidence". This is why I want that boy in my English class to come out as gay, or why I don't get the girl who where's Abercrombie with a peace necklace. Everyone in my world get's put into catagories even when I tell them to their faces that they are people, just like everyone else. These schemas also account for the uncomfort I feel as I purchase a nice pair of shoes that I saw in a magazine. That's not something Kara would do, that doesn't fit her type. The worst part is, they cause so much discourse. What if someone doesn't belong in a group, how will they be treated? What if I don't fit into a group? Is that when people go "looking for themselves" or are they actually just morphing into a shape that fits the hole they want to be put into?
Real:conformity. Although it seems relatively straightforward whether a person opposes conformity or ignores it, I have decided it is ridiculous to do either. "Dont conform" we scream from the heights of our individuality, but don't we realise how incredibly imposible that is? To oppose conformity is to join another type of group, one that rages against the ways of the popular. Another type of conformity also runs parallel, that that occurs in groupthinks. This is when all come to one conclusion so quickly that the other side is never seen. Harsh judgements and immoral goals are often set because everyone caves in. This is America. Groupthink is known to "most likely occur when a popular of powerful leader is surrounded by people of lower status". Welcome to presidency George W., would you like to make a hasty proposal into war? Don't cave in country.
Also real: discrimination. This is the one I have the hardest time with, and today, it makes the least amount of sense. There is a mass movement of people who chant "peace, love and unity" around the world, yet they constantly discriminate against anyone who refuses to join in. They are anti-love to the world or republicans, discriminant against the religious, but continously condone any and all discrimination of personal choice. It seems imposible to love all, respect all, and project a theory that you want furthered at the same time. DO you have to squash others to promote your idea of world peace? Or will they change with equal respect and come to ultimate "enlightenment on their own"? Reading suggests that one way to reduce prejudice or discrimination is by "increasing contact between the target of stereotyping and the holder of the stereotype". If that's the case, i am definately in the right part of town.
This was basically just a rant that had to come out in the middle of my study time.To quote a friend "Back to my four wall existence". I love and miss you all. Have a thought-provoking day! ¶ 5:32 PM 2 Comments
Thursday, October 06, 2005
A Dream that I can Speak to
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky that I will not succomb and let his rays beat me into the ground and roll over in self-pity. His heat may be fierce, but my movement is more and so I will dance in this, dance loud and proud. Each pore glistens with sweat, every pulse in my temple migrating south to send new,fresh blood to my aching muscles. Between my ribs, I feel the muscles contract, reminding me alot of squeezing the toothpaste out of it's container this morning as I scraped for that last little bit of minty gew. I pull back in retraction from the tightness in hopes that this will somehow tone and develop what ever skill it is that I am cultivating.
Plans to reorganize my room are on there way. Once roommate number 4 is out, we will cover the walls with black and white photographs and posters, as well as any words or symbols that we feel need to be enforced daily. As of right now, my corner reads "clean body, clean mind, clean soul", along with a newspaper article titled "hail to the Chief of Culture" (in mockery). A poster board still blank sits next to my desk with great ambitions of becoming cluttered with art and representations of life. I get very excited about decorating and although that may seem incredibly materialistic of me, I think it is beautiful, normal, and worthy of time to invest in the senses. By making this space more visually stimulating, appealing, and thought provoking, I am not only stretching the artsy side of myself (if possible), but also the intellectual side by making critical decisions about what says how to who and why. Got any pictures? I am thinking vintage, black and white, clean lines, foggy,...i see a city and a forest...um yes ¶ 11:58 AM 2 Comments
Plans to reorganize my room are on there way. Once roommate number 4 is out, we will cover the walls with black and white photographs and posters, as well as any words or symbols that we feel need to be enforced daily. As of right now, my corner reads "clean body, clean mind, clean soul", along with a newspaper article titled "hail to the Chief of Culture" (in mockery). A poster board still blank sits next to my desk with great ambitions of becoming cluttered with art and representations of life. I get very excited about decorating and although that may seem incredibly materialistic of me, I think it is beautiful, normal, and worthy of time to invest in the senses. By making this space more visually stimulating, appealing, and thought provoking, I am not only stretching the artsy side of myself (if possible), but also the intellectual side by making critical decisions about what says how to who and why. Got any pictures? I am thinking vintage, black and white, clean lines, foggy,...i see a city and a forest...um yes ¶ 11:58 AM 2 Comments
