Sunday, September 11, 2005
Saboba
You know how when you are introduced to an idea or a place, you get a feeling about what it would be like to be there? For instance, when you think of your home, a certain combinations of emotions, scents, and lighting fills your brain making a complete but very undefinable definition in your mind? Well, thats how the world works for me. Thinking about plans, recalling memories, a grouping of senses fills my mind and the place is set in that box.
I am having a very difficult time put this whole college thing into a box. Some mornings I wake up and I feel it fitting right into one box, particularly marked by dim lighting, sweaty hair from dance, and the smell of the granola bars sitting beneath my desk. The emotions are anxious and a little uncomfortable, resulting directly from the over-prescence of drunkness and the lack of close friends.
Other mornings i wake up and i dont see the californian sun and a completely new box takes shape. I feel more like I do when i sit in the box labled "home' but minus a whole lot of things that make that box enjoyable. This one smells like tea tree oil (my deoderant) and feels like reading and typing.
Today, I am experiencing a totally new set of everything. I can't tell if it is because I met a butt-load of new people last night of whether it is because it is windy outside, or even if it is because this is the first time I have busted out Modest Mouses old CD while at school, but it is very different. It feels softer and more relaxed, but in the same way kinda down. It smells like this very cool body scrub I have that is self-warming and smells like clean earth. Most of all, this new box of feelings reminds me of driving while its raining to Coffee Rush or Dutch Brothers and then crying on the way home (which by the way, has never happened).
I am going to watch the movie Blow today because that is my favorite movie and it always helps me feel better about life. Not like life is bad now, just a little bit confusing for no apparent reason. And besides, homework is so overrated. ¶ 12:28 PM
I am having a very difficult time put this whole college thing into a box. Some mornings I wake up and I feel it fitting right into one box, particularly marked by dim lighting, sweaty hair from dance, and the smell of the granola bars sitting beneath my desk. The emotions are anxious and a little uncomfortable, resulting directly from the over-prescence of drunkness and the lack of close friends.
Other mornings i wake up and i dont see the californian sun and a completely new box takes shape. I feel more like I do when i sit in the box labled "home' but minus a whole lot of things that make that box enjoyable. This one smells like tea tree oil (my deoderant) and feels like reading and typing.
Today, I am experiencing a totally new set of everything. I can't tell if it is because I met a butt-load of new people last night of whether it is because it is windy outside, or even if it is because this is the first time I have busted out Modest Mouses old CD while at school, but it is very different. It feels softer and more relaxed, but in the same way kinda down. It smells like this very cool body scrub I have that is self-warming and smells like clean earth. Most of all, this new box of feelings reminds me of driving while its raining to Coffee Rush or Dutch Brothers and then crying on the way home (which by the way, has never happened).
I am going to watch the movie Blow today because that is my favorite movie and it always helps me feel better about life. Not like life is bad now, just a little bit confusing for no apparent reason. And besides, homework is so overrated. ¶ 12:28 PM
