Life is a Fabulous Blend...
Friday, September 30, 2005
pictoral views of LA
- I love the bluff. Even though right below used to be the wetlands and somebody decided to mull over that and create...mush...its still beautiful.
the sky was rocking that day!!
¶ 6:00 PM 2 Comments
Thursday, September 29, 2005
We've Got a Life to Live they say..
Day 9, and I still haven't brushed my hair. I guess you could say I dont find the use in it anymore. Often I have considered banishing other social mandates but all seem to hold some purpose. For instance, to stop brushing my teeth would hold some unhygenic reprecautions, as would refusing to bathe or wear contacts. However, I have yet to find a use for brushing my hair except to encourage broken strands and frizzed out do's. I can now say that I have discovered I have naturally curly hair and I have been fighting that for the last 18 years. Whether or not that was an important discovery i can't say...
Things feel a little more like home. I slept naked last night for the first time since moving from Oregon and it was so much more liberating than i remember it being. I can also fart, burp, leave dirty underwear out, and be a general slob without feeling uncomfortable in any extent. This could mean good things, or that I have turned into a totally uncivilized slob. Which ever it is, I like it.
One thing I can say is that I am glad that I am a woman, and that I have a the internet. Because without the essential organs, societal responsabilities, emotions, thought processes, worrysom ways of a woman, I would never be able to analyse and experience life as I do. I read today "I think, but what does that mean?" by Spinoza and he really hit home with me. We always say I think therefore I am but because I am a woman I want to know more. When i learn in African American studies that less than 200 years ago woman who were black where sold in ads reporting that "this one ought to make a good breeder", I realized not only the capability I have to produce more "am's" but also, what it means to be alive today. And thats why I am glad I have the internet. Those emotions I am blessed with as a woman push me to stay connected to people I otherwise wouldnt put forth the effort to reach. Not to say I dont enjoy the connection. On the contrary; often they are the highlights of my day. But without my mind, without my "I think", without my womanly emotions, and more importantly, without AIM, I wouldn't achieve these highlights.
I hope to post some pictures my lovely roommates and I took one day on our coffee study break when the sky was absolutely stunning but my internet is a bit on the fritz. We'll see how it goes in the morning. ¶ 11:14 PM 2 Comments
Things feel a little more like home. I slept naked last night for the first time since moving from Oregon and it was so much more liberating than i remember it being. I can also fart, burp, leave dirty underwear out, and be a general slob without feeling uncomfortable in any extent. This could mean good things, or that I have turned into a totally uncivilized slob. Which ever it is, I like it.
One thing I can say is that I am glad that I am a woman, and that I have a the internet. Because without the essential organs, societal responsabilities, emotions, thought processes, worrysom ways of a woman, I would never be able to analyse and experience life as I do. I read today "I think, but what does that mean?" by Spinoza and he really hit home with me. We always say I think therefore I am but because I am a woman I want to know more. When i learn in African American studies that less than 200 years ago woman who were black where sold in ads reporting that "this one ought to make a good breeder", I realized not only the capability I have to produce more "am's" but also, what it means to be alive today. And thats why I am glad I have the internet. Those emotions I am blessed with as a woman push me to stay connected to people I otherwise wouldnt put forth the effort to reach. Not to say I dont enjoy the connection. On the contrary; often they are the highlights of my day. But without my mind, without my "I think", without my womanly emotions, and more importantly, without AIM, I wouldn't achieve these highlights.
I hope to post some pictures my lovely roommates and I took one day on our coffee study break when the sky was absolutely stunning but my internet is a bit on the fritz. We'll see how it goes in the morning. ¶ 11:14 PM 2 Comments
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
We All Find it Here
One thing that I took for granted: having a mother.
WHen you are sick and alone at 4 in the morning, with snot clogging your head, droll pouring onto your pillow, and no one to run to the store to get you some aspirin you really wish you had a mommy with you.
But, thank goodness for beautiful roommates who take time and consideration in what i need and are helping to nurse me back to health.
For some reason I have hit a dry spell in blogging. Its not at all that I dont have thoughts to write about but rather I get this earie feeling that no one wants to read those anymore so then I get stuck and decide not to write at all.
Perhaps something will come to me tonight when I find somewhere to meditate. Hopefully ¶ 12:45 PM 3 Comments
WHen you are sick and alone at 4 in the morning, with snot clogging your head, droll pouring onto your pillow, and no one to run to the store to get you some aspirin you really wish you had a mommy with you.
But, thank goodness for beautiful roommates who take time and consideration in what i need and are helping to nurse me back to health.
For some reason I have hit a dry spell in blogging. Its not at all that I dont have thoughts to write about but rather I get this earie feeling that no one wants to read those anymore so then I get stuck and decide not to write at all.
Perhaps something will come to me tonight when I find somewhere to meditate. Hopefully ¶ 12:45 PM 3 Comments
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Everybody's Got Somebody
Today was the day after the rain, and for once I am speaking literally. It poured early on yesterday morning, and I felt as if God was making an attempt at cutting through the smog and nourishing this dry land of California. The sky lit up with 8am lightning as it hit the hills and rolled off like thundering balls of energy.
But today was clear. The sky was its beautiful vibrant blue, warm with sun and crisp with a breeze. After falling (literally, its the only way down) out of my new home of a bed, I made my way to an early dance class. I remember thinking yesteday how greatful I was for the rain. Not only did it remind me of home, but I knew it would make the next day brighter after clearing the sky. And it did.
Later today, on my way to U-Hall with Olivia, I passed next to the bluff that overlooks Hollywood and out onto the ocean next to Marina Del Rey. For once, the water was in view, and every speckle of sunshine bounced off the surface of the ocean and flew back into the sky. I could see the bright letters H O L pour out in their whiteness towards me, perhaps asking for me to explore.
Today encouraged me to go on an adventure. With nothing better to do this weekend I think I might. There is so much culture, so many beautiful people, so much stuff that I dont even know exists unless I get out there. Wish me luck!
As for now, I have more class to attend and then a get together with some people down the street. I may attempt once again to bust out my skateboarding skills but only if I get another pleasant shot of enthusiasm and confidence. Out to sushi I go. ¶ 5:09 PM 1 Comments
But today was clear. The sky was its beautiful vibrant blue, warm with sun and crisp with a breeze. After falling (literally, its the only way down) out of my new home of a bed, I made my way to an early dance class. I remember thinking yesteday how greatful I was for the rain. Not only did it remind me of home, but I knew it would make the next day brighter after clearing the sky. And it did.
Later today, on my way to U-Hall with Olivia, I passed next to the bluff that overlooks Hollywood and out onto the ocean next to Marina Del Rey. For once, the water was in view, and every speckle of sunshine bounced off the surface of the ocean and flew back into the sky. I could see the bright letters H O L pour out in their whiteness towards me, perhaps asking for me to explore.
Today encouraged me to go on an adventure. With nothing better to do this weekend I think I might. There is so much culture, so many beautiful people, so much stuff that I dont even know exists unless I get out there. Wish me luck!
As for now, I have more class to attend and then a get together with some people down the street. I may attempt once again to bust out my skateboarding skills but only if I get another pleasant shot of enthusiasm and confidence. Out to sushi I go. ¶ 5:09 PM 1 Comments
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
At least I will Fall right into Place
I hate to be so damn political and introspective but it honestly controls me. I may be one of those abnormal cases where I actually walk around every day in my silence contemplating whether or not life is good, eternity is real, and if fish can think. I wonder if George Bush knows how many people hate him, or if my soul lives in a specific part of my body. I question what the devil thinks of my dreams, and what God wants for today. I even wonder if there is such a thing as love, if faith should be counted on, or if what I can feel underneath my feet is actually there.
So far these questions just push me onto a whirling mary-go-round, lonesome and spinning, untouched by gravity, tossing the world around me into an unclear blur. Familiar faces pass by, my stomach begins to twirl, my head feels heavy, and above me only one star sticks in its place.
College is teaching me stuff. For example, eating an entire package of dried mango's in one day will give you stomach problems. Granola is always good. You cannot suspend a wooden shelf on a wall without making holes in it. Roommates appreciate good decorating skills. Hawaiians are alot like Oregonians. Making people feel awkward is a good way to pass the time. Dancing is way better than listening to lectures. Skateboarding in public is a risky business. Not alot of people like to talk about where food comes from. Laundry is expensive. You dont need to brush your hair, ever. Insence don't set off the smoke detector and therefore are an illegal necesity in dorm rooms. Writting things you believe on your wall reminds you to keep grounded. Everyone loves a good laugh, even the weird people you meet. More to come... ¶ 12:49 PM 1 Comments
So far these questions just push me onto a whirling mary-go-round, lonesome and spinning, untouched by gravity, tossing the world around me into an unclear blur. Familiar faces pass by, my stomach begins to twirl, my head feels heavy, and above me only one star sticks in its place.
College is teaching me stuff. For example, eating an entire package of dried mango's in one day will give you stomach problems. Granola is always good. You cannot suspend a wooden shelf on a wall without making holes in it. Roommates appreciate good decorating skills. Hawaiians are alot like Oregonians. Making people feel awkward is a good way to pass the time. Dancing is way better than listening to lectures. Skateboarding in public is a risky business. Not alot of people like to talk about where food comes from. Laundry is expensive. You dont need to brush your hair, ever. Insence don't set off the smoke detector and therefore are an illegal necesity in dorm rooms. Writting things you believe on your wall reminds you to keep grounded. Everyone loves a good laugh, even the weird people you meet. More to come... ¶ 12:49 PM 1 Comments
Monday, September 19, 2005
I can Tell
Everyday I get more and more confirmation that nobody knows exactly what they are doing. Mistakes are made, wrong roads taken. Confused faces fill the voids between here and tomorrow while life takes its toll.
While learning the ways of these days, and moving through a labrynth that covers the ground on which I sleep, my mind pulls up readings of the day, pieces of meaning in space-fillers, jems among the rough. It plays over
"My schooling fave me no trainging in seeing myuself as an oppressor, as an unfairly advantaged person, or as a participant in a damaged culture. I was taught to see myself as an individual whose moral state depended on her individual moral will."
~White Priveledge
Further down the road into my sleep, my cognitive sense begins to flee and I wrestle over a ball of sheets that found its way between my arms and core. A large, unmoving breath in brings with it more words, this time out of a boring text book...
"There is a basic connection between out prior knowledge, needs, motivations, and expectations about how the world is put together and the way we percieve it. Our view of the world is very much a function, then, of fundamental osychological factors. Furthermore, each person percieves the environment in a way that is unique and special-a fact that allows each of us to make out own special contribution to the world"
~Unstanding Psychology
About to become beyond the world of this and fading into the next, I get a jolt of realization: This is where I am. No one can see it the same as me, no one can take it from me. No one has my priveledge, no one has my pain. So I need to take my napsack, take my view, take my soul and put it somewhere of use. Because here in this bed it's doing nothing....
I have to go dance now. ¶ 8:36 AM 1 Comments
While learning the ways of these days, and moving through a labrynth that covers the ground on which I sleep, my mind pulls up readings of the day, pieces of meaning in space-fillers, jems among the rough. It plays over
"My schooling fave me no trainging in seeing myuself as an oppressor, as an unfairly advantaged person, or as a participant in a damaged culture. I was taught to see myself as an individual whose moral state depended on her individual moral will."
~White Priveledge
Further down the road into my sleep, my cognitive sense begins to flee and I wrestle over a ball of sheets that found its way between my arms and core. A large, unmoving breath in brings with it more words, this time out of a boring text book...
"There is a basic connection between out prior knowledge, needs, motivations, and expectations about how the world is put together and the way we percieve it. Our view of the world is very much a function, then, of fundamental osychological factors. Furthermore, each person percieves the environment in a way that is unique and special-a fact that allows each of us to make out own special contribution to the world"
~Unstanding Psychology
About to become beyond the world of this and fading into the next, I get a jolt of realization: This is where I am. No one can see it the same as me, no one can take it from me. No one has my priveledge, no one has my pain. So I need to take my napsack, take my view, take my soul and put it somewhere of use. Because here in this bed it's doing nothing....
I have to go dance now. ¶ 8:36 AM 1 Comments
Monday, September 12, 2005
We Looked LIke Giants
I'd like you all to take a second and actually examine yourself in this situation: you are walking to a class, nice weather outdoors, a little breeze, bright sun, lots of people. You pass someone, anyone. What do you do?
I've noted 3 common responses. 1) avoid any kind of contact, including eyes, bag knocking, stumbles, glance at clothes, etc. 2) eye contact and continued movement or 3) some other form of interaction like a smile, hello, how are ya, wat up, yada yada.
Now, not that I've been bored or anything, or that I walk alone every where I go on campus, but I've been trying to take these opportunities to formulate some kind of hypothesis determining who, why and when peopel choose each one of these options.
I am a classic 2/3. Depending on the vibe I get from someone I will either simply connect and move on if no further action is detected from the other side, or I will put myself out there and try a 3. Only if Mr. Graycloud decides to fog my mood for the day do I ever choose option number 1.
What I've noted after paying way to much attention to these interactions is that I get very offended by being ignored, and slightly creeped out by a prolonged smile, and a mix between comfortable and judged with eye contact. No wonder people feel awkward at all the above interactions.
But if I had to do a psychological analysis of the 3 interactions they would go as follows
1) Either you're a classic emo kid, the kid with the BMW, or the boy who if avoiding suicide by recieving self-help talks via his headphones. These people tend to be either really uncomfortable with themselves (thus promoting a self-absorbed vibe) or to into their head that an interaction is not worth it. The only ones I have found who do not fit this catagory is the occasional, very distracted, normal kid.
2) People who are either interlocked in conversation on their phone or with another individual, or those who are performing their own pyscho-analysis of me! These ones are very common so they vary in actual description. Their actions are most likely attributed to a lack of confidence which pulls them shy of option 3 but allows them to check out the oncoming situation regaurdless.
3.) The outgoing type, someone whom you are aquainted with, or anyone who is seeing the glass half full. I'd like to try to be this person all the time but the fact of the matter is, very few people have the energy or desire to do so effectively without seeming a bit creepy.
So, what'll it be. Walk cautious, walk slow, and figure out how many of each you come across. YOu will be astounded by what you can see in this blink interaction.
As for tomorow, I am just gonna focus on getting out of bed... ¶ 10:30 PM 2 Comments
I've noted 3 common responses. 1) avoid any kind of contact, including eyes, bag knocking, stumbles, glance at clothes, etc. 2) eye contact and continued movement or 3) some other form of interaction like a smile, hello, how are ya, wat up, yada yada.
Now, not that I've been bored or anything, or that I walk alone every where I go on campus, but I've been trying to take these opportunities to formulate some kind of hypothesis determining who, why and when peopel choose each one of these options.
I am a classic 2/3. Depending on the vibe I get from someone I will either simply connect and move on if no further action is detected from the other side, or I will put myself out there and try a 3. Only if Mr. Graycloud decides to fog my mood for the day do I ever choose option number 1.
What I've noted after paying way to much attention to these interactions is that I get very offended by being ignored, and slightly creeped out by a prolonged smile, and a mix between comfortable and judged with eye contact. No wonder people feel awkward at all the above interactions.
But if I had to do a psychological analysis of the 3 interactions they would go as follows
1) Either you're a classic emo kid, the kid with the BMW, or the boy who if avoiding suicide by recieving self-help talks via his headphones. These people tend to be either really uncomfortable with themselves (thus promoting a self-absorbed vibe) or to into their head that an interaction is not worth it. The only ones I have found who do not fit this catagory is the occasional, very distracted, normal kid.
2) People who are either interlocked in conversation on their phone or with another individual, or those who are performing their own pyscho-analysis of me! These ones are very common so they vary in actual description. Their actions are most likely attributed to a lack of confidence which pulls them shy of option 3 but allows them to check out the oncoming situation regaurdless.
3.) The outgoing type, someone whom you are aquainted with, or anyone who is seeing the glass half full. I'd like to try to be this person all the time but the fact of the matter is, very few people have the energy or desire to do so effectively without seeming a bit creepy.
So, what'll it be. Walk cautious, walk slow, and figure out how many of each you come across. YOu will be astounded by what you can see in this blink interaction.
As for tomorow, I am just gonna focus on getting out of bed... ¶ 10:30 PM 2 Comments
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Saboba
You know how when you are introduced to an idea or a place, you get a feeling about what it would be like to be there? For instance, when you think of your home, a certain combinations of emotions, scents, and lighting fills your brain making a complete but very undefinable definition in your mind? Well, thats how the world works for me. Thinking about plans, recalling memories, a grouping of senses fills my mind and the place is set in that box.
I am having a very difficult time put this whole college thing into a box. Some mornings I wake up and I feel it fitting right into one box, particularly marked by dim lighting, sweaty hair from dance, and the smell of the granola bars sitting beneath my desk. The emotions are anxious and a little uncomfortable, resulting directly from the over-prescence of drunkness and the lack of close friends.
Other mornings i wake up and i dont see the californian sun and a completely new box takes shape. I feel more like I do when i sit in the box labled "home' but minus a whole lot of things that make that box enjoyable. This one smells like tea tree oil (my deoderant) and feels like reading and typing.
Today, I am experiencing a totally new set of everything. I can't tell if it is because I met a butt-load of new people last night of whether it is because it is windy outside, or even if it is because this is the first time I have busted out Modest Mouses old CD while at school, but it is very different. It feels softer and more relaxed, but in the same way kinda down. It smells like this very cool body scrub I have that is self-warming and smells like clean earth. Most of all, this new box of feelings reminds me of driving while its raining to Coffee Rush or Dutch Brothers and then crying on the way home (which by the way, has never happened).
I am going to watch the movie Blow today because that is my favorite movie and it always helps me feel better about life. Not like life is bad now, just a little bit confusing for no apparent reason. And besides, homework is so overrated. ¶ 12:28 PM 1 Comments
I am having a very difficult time put this whole college thing into a box. Some mornings I wake up and I feel it fitting right into one box, particularly marked by dim lighting, sweaty hair from dance, and the smell of the granola bars sitting beneath my desk. The emotions are anxious and a little uncomfortable, resulting directly from the over-prescence of drunkness and the lack of close friends.
Other mornings i wake up and i dont see the californian sun and a completely new box takes shape. I feel more like I do when i sit in the box labled "home' but minus a whole lot of things that make that box enjoyable. This one smells like tea tree oil (my deoderant) and feels like reading and typing.
Today, I am experiencing a totally new set of everything. I can't tell if it is because I met a butt-load of new people last night of whether it is because it is windy outside, or even if it is because this is the first time I have busted out Modest Mouses old CD while at school, but it is very different. It feels softer and more relaxed, but in the same way kinda down. It smells like this very cool body scrub I have that is self-warming and smells like clean earth. Most of all, this new box of feelings reminds me of driving while its raining to Coffee Rush or Dutch Brothers and then crying on the way home (which by the way, has never happened).
I am going to watch the movie Blow today because that is my favorite movie and it always helps me feel better about life. Not like life is bad now, just a little bit confusing for no apparent reason. And besides, homework is so overrated. ¶ 12:28 PM 1 Comments
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Fifth edition
Wake up
light a candle
open the shades
breath in the air
turn on some jazz
bust out a book
delve into hard organic cheerios
laugh a little
put on robe
chill a little
shower
chill a little more
go get coffee
visit a friend
write an essay
contemplate life
tkae a long walk
do some laundry
rest head on warm laundry machine
splurge on some peanut m&m's
watch a movie with roomies
talk to home
decorate room
out to eat
dress up and laugh
take pictures and laugh
sit down and rest
write in a blog
here ¶ 8:24 PM 1 Comments
light a candle
open the shades
breath in the air
turn on some jazz
bust out a book
delve into hard organic cheerios
laugh a little
put on robe
chill a little
shower
chill a little more
go get coffee
visit a friend
write an essay
contemplate life
tkae a long walk
do some laundry
rest head on warm laundry machine
splurge on some peanut m&m's
watch a movie with roomies
talk to home
decorate room
out to eat
dress up and laugh
take pictures and laugh
sit down and rest
write in a blog
here ¶ 8:24 PM 1 Comments
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
In the Kitchen, Boiling Society
One foot in front of the other, my pant pant leg graces the shifting pieces of debre. They lay lifeless on the side of the road, cast aside by the ignorant, untouched by the rest. And just a few feet down rests the treasured sands of the shore, where millions drift each day to appreciate the beauty of nature. Does it not seem ironic that just a glance away from the very place humans treasure and glorify for its natural spectacularness and pure exquisiteness we throw the scum of our existence? Perhaps I shouldn't be too harsh. Afterall, it is pretty complex to understand that to disgaurd trash on public, if not naturally holy, ground is in fact something to be reconsidered before acted upon. Has our laziness now overruled our ability to understand our very appreciation for creation, beauty, and scenery? I guess so...
I continue my passage down onto the hot sands of Venice, where the oceans is pugnant with pollution and the air thick with salt. The melodies of Dispatch play loud in my head while I look straight ahead, maybe even slightly up. I love to walk just feeling my feet and seeing the sky. I suppose it makes me feel etherial in a way, like the world moves while I sit still in the heavens. Over the rocks I hop onto the pier that is nearly disinigrated and rotted to nothingness. The board is thin and the dropto the water is a long way down. I step with confidence in a striaght line, arms out, chest up, mouth open. I literally try to taste the air and grab the space in hopes of taking away some of the weight of life. The waves crash inland as I travel out to sea, causing me to feel as though i am moving rapidly, high above the world. My balance feels steady but the world rocks back and forth. The wind presses me gently but I smile in reply.
It felt so, good.
I think that is life in a nutshell. The world, polluted, dirtied, noisy and rough. Beneath it though, still natural enough and in its form that those who are willing may experience it. The beams on which we build our beliefs have taken a beating. They are thin and worn, but still standing and waiting for reinforcement. And so we test them, constantly, seeing how well they can take us out to sea. We stand atop them, arms spread, mouth open, waiting to feel something that will bring us up to the sky we see above and to a level that we know we deserve. Days move rapidly although we may stand still, because the tide doesn't wait and neither does time. And so challenges come, strong like the wind or soft and breezy, and instead of crouching low to cling to the disinigrating boards of belief, we must lean into them and smile because we are being challenged.
The bus ride home, into the inner city and out of the marina, brings back solidity and reality and I come down off my high to recieve another day in living. Hopefully I have learned something other than my affirmed belief on how horrible litering is. ¶ 10:37 PM 3 Comments
I continue my passage down onto the hot sands of Venice, where the oceans is pugnant with pollution and the air thick with salt. The melodies of Dispatch play loud in my head while I look straight ahead, maybe even slightly up. I love to walk just feeling my feet and seeing the sky. I suppose it makes me feel etherial in a way, like the world moves while I sit still in the heavens. Over the rocks I hop onto the pier that is nearly disinigrated and rotted to nothingness. The board is thin and the dropto the water is a long way down. I step with confidence in a striaght line, arms out, chest up, mouth open. I literally try to taste the air and grab the space in hopes of taking away some of the weight of life. The waves crash inland as I travel out to sea, causing me to feel as though i am moving rapidly, high above the world. My balance feels steady but the world rocks back and forth. The wind presses me gently but I smile in reply.
It felt so, good.
I think that is life in a nutshell. The world, polluted, dirtied, noisy and rough. Beneath it though, still natural enough and in its form that those who are willing may experience it. The beams on which we build our beliefs have taken a beating. They are thin and worn, but still standing and waiting for reinforcement. And so we test them, constantly, seeing how well they can take us out to sea. We stand atop them, arms spread, mouth open, waiting to feel something that will bring us up to the sky we see above and to a level that we know we deserve. Days move rapidly although we may stand still, because the tide doesn't wait and neither does time. And so challenges come, strong like the wind or soft and breezy, and instead of crouching low to cling to the disinigrating boards of belief, we must lean into them and smile because we are being challenged.
The bus ride home, into the inner city and out of the marina, brings back solidity and reality and I come down off my high to recieve another day in living. Hopefully I have learned something other than my affirmed belief on how horrible litering is. ¶ 10:37 PM 3 Comments
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Cool fast hard easy
I believe I have spent the past 15 years of my life (not 18 because at age 3 I really only thought about pooping, eating, and sleeping) worrying. Worrying about people who are not me and are not making the decisions I would make. Worrying about those I love ending up cornered in a situation that would cause them immense emotional or physical pain. Even worrying about people who have no actual value to me except that they live, yet I still will loose sleep over whether or not I think they are putting themselves in danger. Sweet and all as it is, my natural role as Mother to all is tiresome to say the least. So I have set a new goal. Normally this goal would seem ridiculously self-centered, but in my case, I need to find a way to rest. My goal is to drop the worries and just love..
I came to this by realizing where I am in life. Hello, I am 18 and in college. This is the place I worried about. People would say "I am going to college at_____" and for the next week I would cringe at thinking of that innocent person, getting so smashed and then raped and ending up emotionally scarred for their entire life. I envisioned roads to destruciton, abandonment of faith, and ultimate evil. Okay, maybe that is a bit harsh, but some of it was true. I suppose I have never had the faith in other's that they would do the right thing when the time came. Maybe this is a reflection on self. That deep down I am scared that I will fall into an abyss when all my security is robbed from me. But that can't be. If I am afraid of my own decisions, then what must other people think of my certainties?
I can see where this is going......downhill....lets bring it up again.
This is good, college is good, people are good, life is good, and love is good. Put it all together and what have you got? ding dong, clap clap, hotdog..or in my case, tofu dog.
I have to go to another class now. You wouldn't believe how amazing it is to be able to dance for school. While everyone delves themselves into a secluded corner to read some book written by a bald white guy, I move through space to blasting music and feel the sweat drip down my brow. What's even better is I come home to a workload of pure pyschology and philosophy, two things I would read and do read by choice just because I find them so enthrawling. God bless double majors ¶ 12:39 PM 3 Comments
I came to this by realizing where I am in life. Hello, I am 18 and in college. This is the place I worried about. People would say "I am going to college at_____" and for the next week I would cringe at thinking of that innocent person, getting so smashed and then raped and ending up emotionally scarred for their entire life. I envisioned roads to destruciton, abandonment of faith, and ultimate evil. Okay, maybe that is a bit harsh, but some of it was true. I suppose I have never had the faith in other's that they would do the right thing when the time came. Maybe this is a reflection on self. That deep down I am scared that I will fall into an abyss when all my security is robbed from me. But that can't be. If I am afraid of my own decisions, then what must other people think of my certainties?
I can see where this is going......downhill....lets bring it up again.
This is good, college is good, people are good, life is good, and love is good. Put it all together and what have you got? ding dong, clap clap, hotdog..or in my case, tofu dog.
I have to go to another class now. You wouldn't believe how amazing it is to be able to dance for school. While everyone delves themselves into a secluded corner to read some book written by a bald white guy, I move through space to blasting music and feel the sweat drip down my brow. What's even better is I come home to a workload of pure pyschology and philosophy, two things I would read and do read by choice just because I find them so enthrawling. God bless double majors ¶ 12:39 PM 3 Comments
