Monday, June 27, 2005
Hush Puppies and Raw Oysters of Life
And today is a day when I can look at life and say that I am blessed. Not because it is all perfect and peachy or because today I won $50,000 dollars or had an out of body experience (none of which but the opposite have occured), but because I have been able to live something amazing so far and know that more is to come.
I just came home from what seemed like another country; The Deep South. Where everything is fried, the word organic is unheard of, and it's cooler inside than outside day and night. ALthough this environment may have not been ideal, what grew in my heart while there was more than perfection. I met people. Now see, everytime someone new enters my life, I am infected with curiosity (and also unfortunately in this case, I am also plagued by a severe virus called Hand-Mouth-Foot disease). This curiosity allowed me to find that not only are there more amazing people than anyone is given credit for, but that any life lived is an amazing one indeed. I met in 2 weeks alone someone who left home to ice-skate for the olympic team at age 12; a girl who won the lottery and consequently could flee with her family to AMerica where she no longer had to beg for food; an 18 year old who had a patent on cancer research; and a handful of women whose life goal was to lead the world closer to peace. (which by the way needs to be cleared up; just beacuse the phrase "world peace" has been coined as both pagentish, canned, and phony, the idea itself is one that should not be scoffed at. peace is good, peace is beautiful, and should be respected).
In total and complete awe, my immediate reaction was intimidation. For no reason did I want to tell about my life without some sort of fibery because in competition, it seemed dull, bland and uneventful. But that slowly faded.
When in constant conversation with people you know, you forget how unusual, unique, or amazing parts of your life are because they have all heard it before. Phrases like "This one time in Jamaica...." or "at the auditions for Julliard..." or even "when I won that $3,000 scholarship.." sound like bread and water, plain and bland. But once put outside of the known I realized that my life, your life, all life, is so unique and amazing that jealousy of anykind is uncalled for.
This point was only exagerated when I returned home to a very-much needed warm hug and lengthy conversation with Ryan. After doing the normal "Argue-about-something-that-will-never-change" topic passed, we both sighed. My point went heard but unfelt just as his did. Looking him in the eye I said "I wish that someone could live my life with me just to know it and understand my side". He replied "I would never wish that someone would live my life with me because it's too much to understand". And it hit me, it is too much. It is all to individual, all to unique, all too amazing in the ups and downs of it is life that only GOD himself can even come close to experiencing and understanding.
All alot of talk I know, but it brings me to a great revelation. Too often (mostly while on long plane rides or falling alseep) I become angered at the inability of reality being able to agree. Every person, every country, every religion, every peice of earth, every theory, and every science conflicts on a scale large or small. None can all be explained by one without contradition and thus I am at a lost for what is real. SO maybe I understand now: Of course they will never agree, ever. Because each life is amazing, each person beautiful, and each person so alone aside God that they can't help but to see their own unique way. They can only help to create umbrellas under which they shelter common ideas with others who they can somehow relate. Call them sciences, call them politics, call them religions, call them whatever. They all just uterly amaze me only because they are all a perception of one reality, one truth seen through stained-glass the color of their path and tainted by their faith of the future.
Who knows though, really..........
Favorite quote of the week : "Better to be hated for something you are than loved for something you are not"~sent to me in a good-luck card at Junior Miss ¶ 11:24 PM
I just came home from what seemed like another country; The Deep South. Where everything is fried, the word organic is unheard of, and it's cooler inside than outside day and night. ALthough this environment may have not been ideal, what grew in my heart while there was more than perfection. I met people. Now see, everytime someone new enters my life, I am infected with curiosity (and also unfortunately in this case, I am also plagued by a severe virus called Hand-Mouth-Foot disease). This curiosity allowed me to find that not only are there more amazing people than anyone is given credit for, but that any life lived is an amazing one indeed. I met in 2 weeks alone someone who left home to ice-skate for the olympic team at age 12; a girl who won the lottery and consequently could flee with her family to AMerica where she no longer had to beg for food; an 18 year old who had a patent on cancer research; and a handful of women whose life goal was to lead the world closer to peace. (which by the way needs to be cleared up; just beacuse the phrase "world peace" has been coined as both pagentish, canned, and phony, the idea itself is one that should not be scoffed at. peace is good, peace is beautiful, and should be respected).
In total and complete awe, my immediate reaction was intimidation. For no reason did I want to tell about my life without some sort of fibery because in competition, it seemed dull, bland and uneventful. But that slowly faded.
When in constant conversation with people you know, you forget how unusual, unique, or amazing parts of your life are because they have all heard it before. Phrases like "This one time in Jamaica...." or "at the auditions for Julliard..." or even "when I won that $3,000 scholarship.." sound like bread and water, plain and bland. But once put outside of the known I realized that my life, your life, all life, is so unique and amazing that jealousy of anykind is uncalled for.
This point was only exagerated when I returned home to a very-much needed warm hug and lengthy conversation with Ryan. After doing the normal "Argue-about-something-that-will-never-change" topic passed, we both sighed. My point went heard but unfelt just as his did. Looking him in the eye I said "I wish that someone could live my life with me just to know it and understand my side". He replied "I would never wish that someone would live my life with me because it's too much to understand". And it hit me, it is too much. It is all to individual, all to unique, all too amazing in the ups and downs of it is life that only GOD himself can even come close to experiencing and understanding.
All alot of talk I know, but it brings me to a great revelation. Too often (mostly while on long plane rides or falling alseep) I become angered at the inability of reality being able to agree. Every person, every country, every religion, every peice of earth, every theory, and every science conflicts on a scale large or small. None can all be explained by one without contradition and thus I am at a lost for what is real. SO maybe I understand now: Of course they will never agree, ever. Because each life is amazing, each person beautiful, and each person so alone aside God that they can't help but to see their own unique way. They can only help to create umbrellas under which they shelter common ideas with others who they can somehow relate. Call them sciences, call them politics, call them religions, call them whatever. They all just uterly amaze me only because they are all a perception of one reality, one truth seen through stained-glass the color of their path and tainted by their faith of the future.
Who knows though, really..........
Favorite quote of the week : "Better to be hated for something you are than loved for something you are not"~sent to me in a good-luck card at Junior Miss ¶ 11:24 PM
Comments:
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i genuinely appreciate that you write about the important stuff on here and no the details of your trip and all the free stuff you got. however, i was a bit disappointed that miss. happiness wasnt' mentioned.
P.S. I met even more amazing people that were not apart of the program including: a large black woman who went from homelessness to fame from the servanthood of a man who didn't even know her; a man who lost his children due to his addictions and is now living life in virtual prison to get them back; and a blind girl who played the piano like Beethoven. (that better Jennifer?)
It's good to have you back - I am sorry that our conversations are always "that-thing-that-will-never-change and they always end with a sigh...
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