Its all a big race in the fog Although i find that blogging twice in one day tend to result into a self inflicted fatality of comment ratings, I can't help but say more. I have discovered that no matter what steps i take, what choices i make, what wrods i say, i can never help but let my day run itself. There are a million more people that effect my life than me and to say that i control it is complete bull shute. Each night when I set my head on the pillow, always the same things run through my head. The most consuming issues of the day take up the majority of my thought space, and shortly following are the unrelated events of the past that filter into my knowledge of today's occurances. The second ballod is filled with insignificant faces, places, and actions thats just simply..ocured. Then the finale comes; an overveiw. Where did I fail? Where did I succeed? Tonight at this time and place am i more or less valuable because of today's actions? It is at this time and this time only that i realise there is only one constant each and every day. Each day I rise set with a goal, and fall asleep always falling short. The catch comes when even after i know the results of living tomarrow, I still get out of bed. Maybe that's where overacheivers come. Becuase if only each day i could met every goal I set, what would tomarrows goal be? I think i might run out if i were truely efficient and thus, cease to WANT to exists. Currently, my goals are foggy and in turn i feel defeated each day. I sigh knowing that I was half-hearted in most and unclear in all. The most puzzling part of all is at this point in life, I know most clearly what I want but refuse to set the goal. Dangit kara, just let go...and let Him in....


  ¶ 10:32 PM