Craziness through Busyness Like a rollercoaster has never been more true. Feelings winding and turning and then dipping up and then down. I percieve one thing, hear another, know another, and then am told a seperate. What to listen to becomes a kind of choice. It is no longer about truth or falsity, or about the matter at hand, but rather what you want your reality to be. I choose the clearcut one. The result? Complete and utter confusion and judgements of stupidity by my counter part and companions. I have no clue. Fifteen minutes of expression will not cover the expanse of questions that have made a cavern into my heart. Let's get talking....


Seperate:::I have two roads to life, one which I have planned ahead for, and one which is covered with everything appetizing. Both are real, both can be chosen. the difference? One will be scorned and could end up breaking me. The other could rob me of my passions and leave me empty in all ways but material. I want to paint, i want to dance, i want to decorate, i want to play music, i want to create, i want to make, i want to move, i want to travel, i want to be artistic. Or I want to be intelectual, i want to use my IB, i want to communicate with the world, i want to follow thoughts thunk so hard they are now made out of concrete. They say i can do both, but what if that means half of the time i am working just for the sake of working? I just wish it were like they told me it would be in kindergarden:
"kara, what are you drawing?"
"A picture of myself"
"And what does it tell us about what you want to be when you grow up?"
"an artist,,"
"Now wouldn't that be fun! I love to draw too"
"No, i want to paint while i dance. Thats why i drew on ballet shoes"
"That is just great. I've never heard of a dancing artist but whatever you want to be Kara, you can"

I want to be happy, fullfilled, and always creating.....
  ¶ 11:38 PM