Momentary cessation As you already know, i leave tomarrow for New York where i dont know how often i will have access to a computer. So this may be the last post for a while. I am going to try to get my hands on a public library that has internet access i can sign up for or something because i cant go without blogging for a month, and i wanna keep in touch will all you summer kids and graduates. But just a fair warning, this may be it for a while so change your schedules, reset your clocks, adjust your lifestlye because the ever constant blogger will be taking rest. This is depressing. Lets change subjkects to something more uplifting.
So today everyone graduated, everyone being a butt-load of important people in my life. I am not really an emotional gal. Well, everyone is emotional, mine are just very controlled, so i never cried or even felt really sad. Just kinda...overwhelmed. I am half expecting all those people in blue caps and gowns to be waiting at that big old building we call school tomarrow just to hug me and sign my year book befor they go on their way. Where are they all going? How many know how much i care? Do any of them wish they saw me tonight or were a whole lot of one-way relationships just reverberating in my mind. Oddly enough, i found myself just wanting to leave the whole event because i felt uncomfortable and then once i was in my car, i remembered all the people i forgot to hug and almost felt like crying. Not because they were my best friends, not because i thought they had forgotten me, but just because i wanted them to know how they imfluence people. Man i love people and i wish the best for all of them.
I guess that wasnt anymore uplifting eh? Children. Children are amazing and uplifting. Right now there are two young children the ages of 4 and 5 at my feet. The youngest Kara i have recently fallen in love with, again. She absolutely idolizes me. The things she says are more mature than anything i can muster up and i know she means it all from the depths of her heart. Every five seconds she keeps coming in here and saying things like "big sister kara, i have something to tell you and its that i love you ok?". Man, that goes straight to the heart. Then she will sit on the floor and when Cameron, the older brother, comes in and asks her to race, she says "no, not now, i am watching big sister kara". Then it comes time for her to leave and she will hug me and kiss me and say "big kara i have to go but when i come back i will still love you". I think maybe children have a larger capacity for love because there is absolutely no fear of rejection or hurt.
So now its time to study for physics. I am tetoring on the edge of a C and tomarrow i have a final worth 15% of my grade. Lets pray for the best. Half of me wants to beg Dr. Hellman for some extra credit or some kind of grade raise, but the other half knows better. i earn waht i earn and thats that. But lets face it, a 4 point would have been impressive....
Tomarrow i get to see my brother. Sometimes i forget i have a brother until the phone rings and i hear a familiar voice who wants to hear all about my grades but overall my boys. He thinks all men only want one thing and that i can trust no one. He's gotten over the whole threatening gig and now just acts stupid to all my guy friends. But who can blame him, he is a big brother. Overall i love him to death and cant wait to see him for just minute till i have to leave. He gives great advice and i need someone who knows exactly how insane my parents are. Nobody understands their love but us two and its great to have someone to talk to it about and just simply laugh....
I'll miss you guys whoever is reading this. I am sorry this is not one of those insightfull readings with some of my highly philosophical thoughts but tonight i am just too overwhelmed by alot of things to go more than surface deep. God bless you and later...hopefully later
  ¶ 10:02 PM