Bittersweet Symphony Contemplating the true meaning of songs can be a type of meditation. To think they were all written for someone at sometime meaing something so specific but then anyone who hears and takes the time to actually listens adapts it to their own life. Songs are a philosophy in their own. Overall i try not to quote songs because it makes me feel cheasy, corny, or maybe just of the lesser inteligence because its as if i cant come up with my own words. But to know that anything real i want to say has already been sung makes me eager to use lyrics as a true form of expression because they have already been media approved. As of the moment, the song that most represents my mental state is Bittersweet Symphony. For all you movie fans, it plays during the denoumont of the movei Cruel Intensions, when the evil in life is brought to justice but like real life, the sins and wrongdoings can never be undone. Althouh no such sins or wrongdoing are daunting my recent past, bittersweet would most definately describe my mentallity. I leave in days for New York City where i will live for 4 weeks, 1 month, 31 days, lots of hours. I am positive this will be one of the most memorable experiences in my life. A chance to venture away, being independent, living a life of dance (my true passion and love), and all in the city i have come to love the most, NYC. I can't desrcribe the anticipation that i feel every single morning. Just to be there right now. Who else can say they are traveling thousands of miles to live in an apartment with their best friend for a month and experience the real world of their art? I can. But this sweetness leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. With desire their is always a call for more desires for other things. I havent packed, havent shopped, havent finished school, havent studied for finals, but all i can see in my future is "gotta get ready". All that aside my largest dose of bitterness comes from my relational life. What about the people who i care so much about? To leave them behind, back in Oregon. Now some may say "give me a break, they will live. Your only 17". But when your joy day to day comes from seeing someone you loves' smiling face, imagining a month without that is torture. I know i will leave soon, and i will just as soon return, but that doesnt make the goodbyes anymore fun. I just wish i could have all the sweet overwith, but not to fast so i can enjoy it, but not too slow because i dont want the bitter to have time to set in. Oh life is a symphony, a delicate blend of the flavors of life. I am glad it always turns out fabulous and my worries are wasted thoughts. Only if lifes symphony director would give me just a peak at the score. At least then i would know where to put my energy.....later  ¶ 11:07 PM