Everyone's Club With peas in hand
and little peace of mind
i write to you
and hope you find
my words turn round
without any meaning
just recapping the days
and what their freeing
because I spend
each day around
living not life
but thinking sound
of places to go
chores to get run
thoughts to be thunk
and junk to be undone
I've come across
a quote or two
that pleasure me
and shows me new
what i often ponder
and never express
so here i give you
their loveliness:
vanity fair
will kill the lady
because to accept a compliment
is to be wise of eighty
for if you say
"thankyou" in return
big-headed your seen
AND IN HELL YOU WILL BURN!
Of course i joke
but the meaning is true
bow your head to a word
that is kind to you
Next I find
hypocracy
blocking my vision
can be harmful to me
no one is free
from adversity
because even in will
we choose not complimentary
I say one thing
and do the rest
so clear your own goggles
before others you jest
Lastly i find
the grace of the sun
whose heavy rays
my youth they have won
my skin may soon wrinkle
and become ridden with disease
but at least i enjoyed
every one of these days
So blessed i am
to have stumbled these truths
hopefully i will become busy
and have something to do(ths)
so i can stop writting
and live a bit more
glory abound
i've got Hillsboro to explore!!!  ¶ 10:57 PM 1 Comments

  ID NUmber 97 All this talk about time busts the seams of my brain (by the way, everyone should learn how to sew because it, like knitting, is very theraputic and much more productive). It seems that nearly every single day I have at least one conversation about time and the meaning of it. It's always "When I leave for college" or "do you remember when" or "time flies huh?". It makes me wonder if there is too much emphasis on a not so solid thing.

So the Christian says my soul will last for eternity. That thought alone is enough to make me fear existance because i can't see myself wanting to live another thousand years let alone another hundred. Today, I can do. Actually, a hole lot of today's I can handle. But next month? That doesn't seem nearly as fun. I love living, dont get me wrong, but time in a hump like that seems like a heardle I don't have the energy to handle.

Then the unfortunately doomed pesimist says that one day in the future (because obviously whoever is speaking is not dead now) we will all meet an end to being and then whatever soul we possess will cease and thus so will out version of time. But as much as I dislike the idea of eternal being, I even more disagree with perishment. To think that everything accomplished and every reality will be gone with nothing to offer other than some "history of impact" which, by the way, is itself something unreal because the past is only a memory!!

Now, a new look on time is the Buddhist who, despite his apparent belief in reincarnation, argues that "all time is now". Tomorrow is an idea, yesterday is a memory and even now is past. SO to consider tomorow is to worry about something that may not even exist. Even though this may puzzle me because I live by a standard of time (what I want to accomplish in the future, who I have been to people in the past, what I represent of my current beliefs), this one is the least emotionally distressing because if offers no direct controversy to me.

But of all the beliefs on time, I most enjoy my father's. I directly asked my friend one time if she really believed her soul would live on for eternity and she replied 'yes, and it scares me" even when this individual fully believed that eternity would be in heaven, a place of peace and rest. My dad suggested a different outlook. "The biblie says The kingdom of heaven is now" he said "and so I like to think that each day we live is part of eternity". At first is sounds simple but then I understood. We can live each day like today because we can survive today. After all, today is where we build our kingdom of heaven. "Some days are hell, and some days are heaven and I like to try and make them heaven".

Sure, I believe in heaven and hell. Yes I agree with the Buddhist that time is now. And of course, I will die, and my time will thus end. As for time? Time will disappear, and I will exist in a day like today, where the future is an idea and the past irrelevant, because today is like heaven to me.  ¶ 4:07 PM 2 Comments

  I stick loneliness, your lips, and the two coins of my eyes, into my pocket A Drive to Myself:

while driving home from the coast, I decided that where ever I wanted to stop I would. First, it was Cannon Beach. That town is so perfect. It was filled with people enjoying the outdoors and sipping cold drinks. Then was the gas station to fill up for my trip. The man was dressed in old-time clothes that made me feel very cultured and happy for some reason. After leaving the town, I stopped to view Hug Point. The breath-taking beauty was unimaginable as the sun broke through the clouds and reflected off of the depths of the water hundred of thousands of feet below. The sand looked white, the sea green, and the sky bluer than a turquoise stone. Next, I stoped at a County Partk to observe the World's largest Spruce tree. It was 209 feet tall, 56 feet in circumfrance, and over 750 years old. I stayed the longest at the foot of the tree, amazed at its age and grace as it cut through the tree-top canopy and overlooked the surrounding forest. Never have I been so baffled by nature and the ancientness of this world that seems so new to me.

Lastly, I pulled into a small berry stand to support the local organic farmers and enjoy a few fresh picked cherry's. The woman was cold and hard and probably too hot by the looks of it but I know she appreciated my business seeing as I almost died pulling into her stand at the spur of a moments notice.

In the between times I contemplated the things that I love in life, and the things that I hate. As well as the freedom I have that I never excercise like I did today. I came upon raging personal fits over the complete irony and obscene nature of fur coats (with reference to our obsession with shaving ourselves just to add a layer of someone elses hair) and puzzling discussions (one-way, of course) about how animals get to their natural habitat and stay there.

Overall, I spent 2.3 hours, 76 miles in complete silence, alone with my thoughts and urges and out came one of the more peaceful days of summer. I encourage you to do the same if ever the chance arises.  ¶ 7:30 PM 2 Comments