Goodmorning tummy One of the worst things in the world is waking up and wishing you never had. This morning i was rudely awakened by a growl in my stomach and then an immediate urge to vomit. Since then, i have spent the rest of this completely beautiful sunday either near the toilet puking or laying on the floor half asleep, and half in too much pain to sleep. Now i dont have a problem with being sick every now and then and i am pretty decent at handling emense pain, but that wasnt the worst part at all. It was knowing that out there were a thousand things i could be doing incouding dancing, eating, shopping, being with my freidns, going to the beach, spending the night with 2 very important people to me, or just even sitting up so i could do comething productive. But no, none of those i could do. I just had to sit by my window and watch seconds, minutes, hours, days pass and not be able to do anything about it. By discovering this horrible feeling i have changed my position on physician assisted suicide. Attention to all who matter: if i am ever to become a vegetable and survive in that state for more than a week, please do not attempt to keep me alive. i would much rather be kicking it with God than live life like i did today. Sick until later,...  ¶ 9:02 PM 2 Comments

  Getting Jiggy with it Today was one of the most tiring days of my life consisting of 7 strait hours of dancing and over 700 situps. But the natural phenomenon of the lack of connection between the energy in my mind and the energy in my body is occuring so hence i find myself lonely and bored but too physically tired to do aynthing. How depressing. But let me say in no way do i regret spending nearly all of my day in a cramped studio with humidity higher than FLorida itself coated by the smell of strong calogne, BO, and loud enough music to rob me of my healthy, youthful hearing. I have to admit that hip-hop is not my key. It is a weird feeling to know you stick out because you are "the white girl getting funky" but somehow that was ok by me and by hour 3, i was over the fact and was up front making a fool of myself. Then i heard a very talently but socially retarded black girl say "you can tell he's braking it down (in lamens turms, explaining it in detail) for the crackers". This got me started on another...oh watch out this one is full steam ahead...TRAIN OF THOUGHT!!! Why is it that people who are exotic or ethnic in any way shape or form are better at hip-hop than the unfortunate caucasion? The question baffled me but then i decided to look beyond skin color and chromozones and genes, and i found the answer. Its not because of their body, but because of their cultural history! Think about it, hip-hop is the dancing style of pop culture, culture that flurishes in big cities that contain a variety of people. But more than that, it came from the people on the street. Now dont get me wrong, i am not racist in most circumstances, and i am not saying that because somebody is colored they are pooror belong on the streets, but i am not into altering my opinion just to be PC. ALl of the downtroden minorities were the ones who started hip-hop in the first place and it has become more of a cultural thing for them, breed into their blood and containing pieces of their ORIGINAL culture. So, there you have it. White people cant dance. We have all odds against us.For once i wish we were the oppressed race, maybe then i could be in a music video....until later  ¶ 8:31 PM 2 Comments

  Felines and homosapians What is it about hte spotlight that makes it so special? In the animal kingdom, the leader of the pack is the one whom the other animals follow, the one who takes the stand and announces the way, or as my Chinese friends would say, the Tao. So whoever finds the Tao and gets the guts to introduce it to others has gained the respect and honor of being put in the spotlight as the leader of the pack. Once there, the animal is worth praise and worship. Specifically i am thinking of two examples of this; lions and high schoolers. If you think about it, they are close to identical. There are the dominant ones, the submissive, and the leader. Although in high school the leader may be plural, only if that leader has speaking abilities is he praised and honored and listened to. Noboyd follows the quiet kid,. Just the same, lions follow the loudest, strongest animal. Here is what i am getting at; today i found a primitive reaction within me to give honor and respect to anyone who spoke at the assembly. I put aside any and every prejudice and just wanted to get to know the person better than ever before. Now at that direct point in time, am I really attracted to the person? or the spotlight? or a quality in them...maybe the only reality i can derive from this train of thought it that for my wedding, nobody but my husband is allowed to speak. until i get another bizarre urge to type, later.  ¶ 3:38 PM 2 Comments

  Starting something new... So i have within the last 10 minutes of my life decided to start an anonymous blogg that will, for all i know, remain anonymous for less time than measurable because i have an unquenchible thirst to share. As far as the decided title, i dont even know if i can describe why i chose to call it "fabulous blend". I think i would mosy likely have to say because fabulous is my favorite word that is not utilized enough and constantly overshadowed by hollow words like "good" "great" and " fantastic". Why did fabulous get gyped? Also i am going through a stage of severe coffee addiction. I suppose thats what happens when all those close to you decide to get jobs as your local barista's. Thus blend i felt was appropriate because it relates to coffee, and because i think like is a blend; a blend of events, people, emotions, races, politics, dances, and anything else imaginable. Nothing and nobody is pure. Therefore the blend is in us all... wow that was deep. Let's hope this posts.later  ¶ 6:08 PM 1 Comments